The Netflix & Chill Factor
Black Mirror
N&C Factor: 3/10
Ah Black Mirror.
Finishing up its fourth season, Black Mirror has dazzled audiences and critics alike. From its dark commentary on society to the philosophical moments of dread that are sure to dawn upon any sane viewer, Black Mirror is a show that is guaranteed to make the audience think.
But how does it stack up when it comes to cuddling and getting intimate with your hunny?
Not great.
Though deep and intricate in its story-telling, Black Mirror fails to provide consistency for the NCC (Netflix and chill couple) and for those who are eager to watch every minute of each episode either 1) You will be keeping your hands to yourself and watching every minute of each episode or 2) You will be getting busy and missing everything on screen.
Consistency is a necessary tool for the perfect night of steamy Netflixing. While exploring each other’s body’s, the NCC want to know that nothing TOO important is happening on screen. Music and characters vary between each episode. One minute you may be listening to a hard-rock track with aliens beating the shit out of each other on screen, and the next time you come up for air, it could be techno-jazz and a murderous soccer-mom.
And while there tend to be one or two happy-ending-episodes per season, chances are you will choose an episode that may or may not make you rethink every life choice you’ve ever made.
Overall, this show is excellent for your viewing pleasure. Not your actual pleasure.
3 black screens representing the mirror you use to avoid looking into your soul each day / 10
Riverdale
N&C Factor: 5.5/10
Sometimes, N&C’ing can be HARD when there are hotter people on screen than you.
Worry not! Riverdale season two takes the characters that you loved growing up (and watching in season one) and tears away any layers that they may have had, making them cliché and (lucky for you two) very boring.
Like Black Mirror, the audience will soon get lost in vague and random character switches and the least dirty hole of all: the plot hole. Unlike Black Mirror however, audiences won’t be bothered by getting lost in the story. In fact, it may work to your ADVANCES.
With drab and uninspired “new-age” songs, the NCC will surely either fall asleep in each others’ arms or in the bedroom, far far away from Riverdale.
And for those moments when you need a breather? Worry not, for there are only good-looking people in this series. Get ready for a shot of Archie’s abs or some of Betty Cooper’s cleave.
Boring? Yes. Steamy? Absolutely.
5.5 Dark Bettys / 10
Glow
N&C Factor: 8/10
Slap on some spandex and jump into the ring with your lover for a night of pure pleasure with this surprisingly decent remake.
As close to perfect for the NCC as a Netflix original can get, this show has the perfect blend of casual interest and fun sexiness that you won’t be able to resist. As you and your boo begin feeling each other up, this simple underdog story set to 80’s punk-rock and strong-ass female character arcs will be sure to get your blood boiling.
Did I mention that there is female wrestling? Oh yes. And no doubt sweating will be happening off-screen as well as on.
The NCC will be pleased with the amount of information they can retain through the grunts and moans the characters give. Pair that with a Bonnie Tyler jam and…you’re ready to jam. Both sexes will (no doubt) find the ladies of Glow strong and sexy.
The best part of Glow? There is still only one single season. If you miss something, just re-watch without someone on top of you.
Looking to spice up your Netflix and chilling? Why not try actually wrestling with your hunny? Throw them onto the couch and try these classic wrestling moves; the Chokeslam, Piledriver, Facebuster or everyone’s favourite, the Backbreaker.
8 reverse bulldogs / 10